Caste-related violence and hate crimes in India have occurred despite the gradual reduction of casteism in the country. Independent India has witnessed considerable amount of violence and hate crimes motivated by caste. Ranvir Sena, a caste-supremacist fringe paramilitary group based in Bihar, has committed violent acts against Dalits and other members of the scheduled caste community. Phoolan Devi, who belonged to Mallah lower-caste, was mistreated and raped by upper-caste Thakurs at a young age. She then became a bandit and carried out violent robberies against upper-caste people. In 1981, her gang massacred twenty-two Thakurs, most of whom were not involved in her kidnapping or rape. Phoolan Devi went on to become a politician and Member of Parliament.

Over the years, various incidents of violence against Dalits, such as Kherlanji Massacre have been reported from many parts of India. At the same time, many violent protests by Dalits, such as the 2006 Dalit protests in Maharashtra, have been reported as well.

The Mandal Commission was established in 1979 to “identify the socially or educationally backward”, and to consider the question of seat reservations and quotas for people to redress caste discrimination. In 1980, the commission’s report affirmed the affirmative action practice under Indian law whereby members of lower castes were given exclusive access to a certain portion of government jobs and slots in public universities. When V. P. Singh Government tried to implement the recommendations of Mandal Commission in 1989, massive protests were held in the country. Many alleged that the politicians were trying to cash in on caste-based reservations for purely pragmatic electoral purposes.

In 1990s, many parties Bahujan Samaj Party (BSP), the Samajwadi Party and the Janata Dal started claiming that they are representing the backward castes. Many such parties, relying primarily on Backward Classes’ support, often in alliance with Dalits and Muslims, rose to power in Indian states.At the same time, many Dalit leaders and intellectuals started realizing that the main Dalit oppressors were so-called Other Backward Classes,and formed their own parties, such as the Indian Justice Party. The Congress (I) in Maharashtra long relied on OBCs’ backing for its political success.Bharatiya Janata Party has also showcased its Dalit and OBC leaders to prove that it is not an upper-caste party. Bangaru Laxman, the former BJP president (2001-2002) was a former Dalit. Sanyasin Uma Bharati, former CM of Madhya Pradesh , who belongs to OBC caste, was a former BJP leader. In 2006 Arjun Singh cabinet minister for MHRD of the UPA government was accused of playing caste politics when he introduced reservations for OBCs in educational institutions all around.

MARRIAGE in India goes well beyond sanctifying the union of man and woman. Rather it serves as the steel-frame on which our society rests. In fact, it wouldn’t be much of a stretch to suggest that to understand Indian society, one needs to be a keen observer of the institution of Indian marriage itself.

Marriages in India, far from reflecting societal norms, serve as its very source. It is a tool for preserving and propagating caste and class structures, a mechanism for dividing people along religious lines and a

sorry excuse for laying out so-called gender responsibilities in society and subjugating women.

Unfortunately very little has changed in 21st century in India. With more than 95 per cent of the marriages still being arranged, marriages in this country are a way of preserving the old patriarchal social order. Needless

to say that women are at the receiving end of it all. Not only do they not have a say in who they get married to (that choice is reserved for her family only!), but as a married woman also, she is forced to abide by the dictates that are laid down by the society for her (something that Indian men don’t have to bother with!). For the Indian ‘bahu’ has to be a ‘sati-savitri’ whose wishes are secondary to her husband’s and in-laws’, she should be a good homemaker and she should be a virgin.

So ingrained is this institution and the mindset surrounding it that even though Indian society has witnessed significant economic

and material development in the last two decades, it has simply not translated into reform in the old ways of thinking.

Contrary to liberating people from old customs and traditions, wealth it seems has strengthened it. Take for example the three recent cases that were reported widely in the media. The first being south Indian superstar, Chiranjeevi’s younger daughter, Srija, having to run away and elope with her lover of four years because her parents would not agree to their marriage due to caste differences. Chiranjeevi is a megastar in his own right. He has had a lot of success professionally and personally. He is a respected member of the Kapu community of Andhra Pradesh and possibly its future political leader. He was willing to acquire for his daughter the best of modern education in the best of schools and colleges, but yet when it came to the question of her marriage, he wasn’t willing to break away from the so-called tradition.

Kolkata based industrialist Ashok Todi wasn’t willing to accept his daughter’s marriage to Rizwanur Rahman either. Now CBI investigations indicate that Todi got goons and policemen to hound his son in law so that he was forced to annul the marriage, something that forced Rahman to commit suicide instead.

Similarly, on the first of this month an NRI, Subhash Chander, living in Washington, killed his pregnant daughter and son-in-law supposedly because they had married without his consent and belonged to different castes. Although the allegation is being contested, it is clear from the statements given to the police that this was an issue if not the only one. If an NRI living in the United States can kill his own daughter because she married someone from a different caste, we can only imagine how deep rooted the customs regarding marriage are in the Indian psyche.

However, recently there has been a steady rise in court marriages in India, which is an encouraging trend. The rise can be explained mainly due to two reasons; the first of which is the rise in the number of working women. With more and more women climbing up the professional ladder, especially in the corporate and industrial world, working women have finally found the financial clout to demand for a court marriage citing professional obligations. In a recent article in the Hindustan Times, a survey reflected this trend and also showed how companies were encouraging the same by providing marriage bonuses for those who chose to go in for a simple court marriage rather than take off for an elaborate wedding. Due to this, people are literally getting married over the weekend and getting back to work on Monday, and in the process, getting a lumpsum from work to start off their marital lives.

Why I call this encouraging is because the concept of court marriages undermines the concept of social marriages. It takes the institution of marriage from the social realm to that of the legal. It deals a severe blow to the traditions and customs of caste, class and religion, which unfortunately are the cornerstones of marriages in India. The very fact that working women are now in a position to demand court marriages also deals a death blow to the so-called post marital responsibilities that traditional marriage lays out for them.

The second reason contributing to the rise in court marriages is the increase in the number of elopements. The youth today, one can presume with exposure to western ideas and lifestyles, is slowly finding its voice and asserting its right to marry someone of its own choice. This is definitely a positive sign and something we can imbibe from the west. Critics will always point to the high divorce rates in western countries to counter this argument, but the truth is that there are equal chances of divorce in both ‘love’ and ‘arranged’ marriages, and in that respect, one cannot be said to be better than the other. On the contrary, because arranged marriages come with a social baggage, it might artificially keep down divorces but in the process will make marital life anything but blissful.

Indian society has to accept that arranged marriages are not a solution to divorces and should open up to the idea of marriage and family counseling to tackle the issue. In spite of their best efforts, if the married couple is not able to resolve their problems, then it is best that they go in for a divorce. The issue does become more complicated when children are involved but the answer to that again lies in family and marriage counseling. Besides problems within an arranged marriage (if not addressed) might result in visible enmity between the spouses, which in turn, might have a negative impact on the growth and development of the children.

On the whole, the trend towards legal court marriages is a positive one in that it knowingly or unknowingly strikes at the fundamental root of the social institution of marriage. Whether it is due to professional considerations or eloping with your lover (a December 2007 Supreme Court judgement legally recognises elopements provided the couple is of marriageable age), in both the cases, court marriages go a long way in reshaping the way we view marriages in Indian society by shedding the social baggage.

However, much more needs to be done to reform the institution of marriage and negate its negative aspects, the burden of which falls on women in society. What is required is a complete change in the mindset and in the way of thinking of the society that treats women as mere commodities to be had and controlled. And for this change to take place, what is required is the sexual emancipation of women in India; something that will strike at the very core of the patriarchal institution of marriage that subjugates women through the demand that they remain virgins until their marriage. Being sexually active, regardless of whether they are married or not, is a right as inalienable as any that all women should be free to exercise. Once the sexual liberation of women has taken place, not only will it empower women in society, but also deal a heavy blow to the patriarchal social order and the traditional institute of marriage will crumble in itself.

Indian arranged marriages, today, might have transformed at a superficial level but there is very little to suggest that things have changed otherwise. We might have matrimonial sites to assist us in finding Mr or Miss Right and we might get used to throwing lavish weddings in 5-star hotels, but yet the rules of the game remain the same. Marriage is still governed by the age-old dictates of caste, creed and religion and continues to be a tool for perpetuating the patriarchal order and subjugating women. Although there are encouraging trends like increasing court marriages, those are still at a nascent stage. For the time being, wealth and better standards of living have only strengthened this decadent institution that can only be uprooted through a revolution in the mindsets of the people.

Bangalore: Do you want to quit your job? Are you afraid that your resignation will be declined? Are you afraid that you will lose your friends at job and some of the people you really had thought as your mentor?

Resigning from your job sometime seems easy for some people but at the same time resigning without offending boss is not as easy as you think. Though we don’t like our job and want to quit, it is very difficult to resign tactfully without offending the boss. Your present boss who has given some responsibilities will feel disappointed or rather offended with the decision of quitting the company . When an employee quits, there are many problems or rather losses that the company incurs. For example financial loss, training a new guy will incur time loss and instability (for whatever time frame that new guy will need to actually fill that space). This eventually, and to be more apt, brings frustration within the boss. Whatever the causes are, we should make it clear that when we are leaving we should leave on good terms because we never know when we will need that employer in future or his reference.

So here are certain tips on how to quit job without offending the boss:

Give sensible reason:

“I want to quit the job because my wife does not like the weather of this city” said an employee to his employer. So what will be the reaction of your boss when somebody tells the same thing and leaves the job? The boss will feel angry or rather disgusted. Whenever we quit job, it is very important to give a logical and sensible reason to our boss. The boss should feel that your reason for quitting the job is sensible enough and in that way you might get a “Best of luck” from your boss also!

Train your juniors:

While serving your resignation period or your notice period, you can actually train your juniors whom you think can take over the job responsibility after you. This will not only bring confidence in your juniors but also your boss will have choices before he decides the person who can replace you.

Find your replacement:

It sounds very difficult to find your own replacement, but believe me; it will be very helpful for your boss to relieve you if he finds a person before thinking who’s next! It will also show that you are responsible and committed to the company and to your boss. After all, whatever the reasons are, he was the person who had hired you!

Avoid abrupt resignation:

Serve your notice period! This may sound very lengthy however this is a term that now most of the companies have made compulsory. Buying your notice period is something you can discuss however put across the same to your boss politely as this may sound rude.

Complete your task or project:

It is very important that you finish your job or task before you finally say adieu to your employer as the next person who will replace might find himself/herself in a soup when he joins the post. This will not only affect the future transactions but also will decide your relationship status with your previous company or boss.

Amar Paul, a senior analyst of OPI, believes that he would think some points before he quit the job, managing relationship is one of the most important qualities of any professional, and moreover many of the companies give more weightage to the recommendations from the ex boss, so it’s very important to maintain a good relationship with boss after you quit the job.

So are you ready to quit your job while your boss is smiling?

Bangalore: How often has it happened that you’re concentrating on a work at hand and are suddenly thrown out of your zone, startled by a colleague’s ringing phone? Well almost everybody has faced such a scenario with the frequency differing from person to person. But nonetheless it is a common phenomenon at everyday work and has the ability to drive you mad, especially when you’re doing an important work that needs your utmost attention.

While any ringtone that is loud and noisy can be distracting, our survey on what kind of ringtones irritate the most revealed some interesting facts. A marketing executive with a reputed software company shared that the ringtones that feature songs in regional languages are disturbing. Also the ringtones that are too shrilly or high pitched add to the annoyance.

An analyst from Indegene Lifesystems echoed his annoyance over ringtones in the regional dialects. In fact, this trend came up to be the highlight of the survey with a majority of the people getting exasperated with regional ringtones. Is it the same case with you too?

Another trend that we spotted was having different ringtones assigned for different contacts in your phonebook. While one may get conditioned to one kind of tone ringing, it is frustrating to hear a different tone each time. Sometimes phones kept in the vibrating mode can also turn disturbing as at times the vibration shakes up the entire desk.

Although many might ignore it as a trivial issue, in the long run this turns to be a constant source of irritant, with the HR department having to intervene in some cases. While in some companies, employees are not allowed to take their phones to the workstation, the companies which do, have to tread the path carefully.

In our talk with HR Executive Porush Singh from Sonata Software, he informed that the HR department gets complains on loud ringtones from the employees, which average to one or two a month. “To mitigate this, we circulate pamphlets and conduct workshops once or twice in a quarter to make the employees more aware.” Apart from the general measures, he also said that as and when complains come, the HR people go and talk to the employee directly or do so in a general chat.

It is a common etiquette to keep your phones on silent or at best in a minimal ringing tone that is audible to you at the workplace. However, many people don’t care enough to these kinds of small details. By doing so you not only create a cordial relationship with your colleague but also set a good example of workplace etiquettes. So which side of the spectrum are you in?

Do share with us similar experiences that you may have encountered at your workplace.